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Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Free Best Man Speeches

Free, Sample Speeches, Best Speech

Ladies and
Gentlemen, settle down

I beg you listen to this clown

The best man's role is abundantly clear

To entertain you and fill him with fear

But just
before the fun begins

I ask you, put aside your grins

The true honor of best man demands

That we share some thoughts about their bands

First a
response to Dave's kind words

His compliments about the bride's top birds

Their thanks I give and his words I repeat

Megan & Lola, you do look a treat

Thanks must go to the Moorhill hotel,

Mark and his team have really done well.

They’ve sweated and toiled for all of our sake

Thanks very much guys, we’ll save you some cake!

Now we have
to take the time,

Just for a bit, and stop rhyme

On behalf of those we hold dear

Who sent a card as they can’t be here.

<Pause for cards etc…>

And let me share some thoughts of my life

At least the bits I've spent with my wife!

Marriage is the best thing that I've ever done

No need to think, it's the best - bar none

A friend by
your side, all of the time

Scuba buddy, lover, partner in crime

It's all about sharing, understanding your rants

Not just cooking and cleaning and washing your pants

A life-long
decision you'll never regret

A journey together you'll never forget

Someone to lean on when down on your luck

A Christmas cuddle or a New Year’s…. Resolution

Forgive me now; I'm trying to hard

I'm sounding like a greetings card

You've come to hear of this young man’s sins

Of drinking, debauchery and sleeping in bins

And whilst
I'll try not to let you down

Some thoughts for Mel, in her wedding gown

It's clear to us all, that Dave's got a steal

But did our bride get as good of a deal?

Let's break
it down, birth 'til today

See how those years made this man on display

Sprog on the Tyne back in 77

The year that Elvis went up to heaven

Little is known of his formative years

Newcastle Brown used to quieten his tears?

And what about Dave when he was at school?

A ‘straight A’ student, this kid was no fool!

On in to
his teens and we start to see

The first indications of the man that he'll be

Star trek and Star Wars, a sci-fi shrine

To his fantasy girlfriend, Seven of Nine!

At the age
of 18 our young man decides

To set the bright lights of Newcastle aside

So into his car and down the M1

To Loughborough Uni for learning and fun

The fancy dress parties are well worth a mention

His wonderful baby spice nappy invention

A brilliant Barney, dressed as the Flintstones

He may look like Phil Collins but he can dance like Tom Jones

At uni he
honed his culinary skills

Learning the art of food with no frills

A penchant for steak that was burnt more than most

The same for sausages, chicken and toast.

And then
there's fried breakfast cooked after the pub

The chance for some late night "beer munchies" grub

If six inches of oil was not enough

Bacon, eggs and shell is really quite rough

And now we can see the pattern emerge

The effect of that late night alcohol splurge

Dave's biggest problem, it's not lack of hairs

It's falling asleep at the foot of the stairs

Not just
once or twice but time and again

A few beers alone just cannot explain

Whilst others make it to the top of the house

He's curled on the floor, fast asleep, like a mouse

Now picture
this scene, again late one night

The boys in the house were pretending to fight

Behind the sliding door in the downstairs loo

Our bride groom David we readily threw

Now you could tell, Dave did not like it

The bathroom door he started to hit

And forgetting to slide he started to shove

With small bits of wall falling down from above

coming next, did not take long at all

The slidy bit started to come out of the wall

And into the kitchen and on to the floor

Flew Dave, free at last, but still holding the door

after Uni, moving to Brum

A software guru our man had become

He started to settle and met up with Mel

So I think you can say, all’s ended up well

In summary Mel, you've not done to bad

I really can't say enough good 'bout the lad

He'll do anything for you - a really true friend

An absolute hero whom you’ll always depend

So that is
that, my time is done

Thank you all for sharing in this fun

My last duty and honor as this part's host

Is to ask you to stand, as we all share a toast

To joy and
laughter, love and life

My mate Dave and his beautiful wife

Friends and family all round this room

Raise your glasses and toast, the Bride and Groom!


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