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Sunday, November 20, 2005

What is a Best Man

Honor of The Best Man is given to the male assistant to the bridegroom at a wedding. The honor of being the Best Man is given by the groom to someone who is close to him, for example, his closest male friend, a brother, cousin or another family member.

Traditionally, in the case of British/American wedding ceremonies, the best man's responsibilities most often include:

1) Supervising the groomsmen and making sure everything is in place.
2) Organising a Bachelor party for the groom
3) Getting the groom to the wedding on time
4) Holding the bride's ring and presenting it to her at the ceremony
5) Best Man gives a memorable speech at the wedding filled with humor, feelings and past experiences

The best man is assited by groomsmen with the following responsibilites:

If the groom feels more comfortable giving the duties of a best man to another women she would have the same responsibility and be called "best woman". A gender neutral term is "honor attendant".

Like the groom appoints a best man, the bride appoints a "maid of honor" who has similar duties.

In Uganda, one of best man's duties include guiding the newly wed couple in the right direction by giving them sound advice about relationships and marriage. Consequently in this case it is preferred that the best man be married himself.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Best Man Funny Speeches


Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen, for those that don’t know me, my name is Danny

I'd like to start by thanking Bill and Nick for their kind words, even though Nick’s words about me were unfounded and untrue.

Also it’s good to see Mo, Sandra and Tom with smiles on their faces today, considering all worry they’ve had to endure over the last couple of months.

A big thank you to the ushers Paul, Shaun and Ben for a job well done today. Especially considering they all have difficulty with the alphabet and their left and right. So I’m glad everyone was sent to the correct place in the church.

I am sure you will also agree that the church ceremony went very well, so, although not here, a big thank you to Father Dealy who performed his duties splendidly. As have our harpist, John and our wandering magician Mark.

I’m surprised your not out there yourself Nick.

I'm sure everyone agrees that the Maid of Honour, Tash, and the bridesmaids Donna, Lydia and Sadie look absolutely stunning today. Tash and Donna have performed her duties outstandingly, it can't have been easy dragging Sadie to the church ... especially considering she knew what the outcome would be.

I would also like thank you to all of you for making an effort to spruce yourselves up for today, I must say some of you ‘don’t scrub up too bad’

Read Telegrams and messages

I have never made a best man’s speech before so I am going to try and make it short so as not to bore everyone.

I have done quite a bit of research towards this speech today, and being in IT I decided to look on the Internet. After a while, I finally found some really good stuff…but it had nothing to do with being a best man.

Anyway during my research I looked into the 3 key elements of the Wedding Ceremony and they are as follows:

The Aisle - it’s the supposed to be the longest, most memorable walk a bride will ever take.

The Altar - the place where 2 become 1

The Hymn - the songs in celebration of the marriage vows and the newly weds.

I think Sadie may have also read the same article, because as she took her place beside Nick today, I swear I heard her muttering "Aisle Altar Hymn, Aisle Altar Hymn".

No seriously though, the purpose of the best man’s speech, or so I’ve heard, is to embarrass the Groom…well he has a small willy and ginger hair and a white suit and I think that is embarrassing enough.

I have also heard there is supposed to be an element of comedy in a best man’s speech, so I hope you don’t mind, but I brought a couple of props just in case I fall flat

on my face. So if this speech goes wayward with the comedy, please feel free to refer back to this at any time, so that at least you can say in the future, there were some funny bits .

I have known Nick since we were at school together, about 18 years and believe me if I were to tell you all the side splittingly funny stories about him we would be here all night!……besides, most of them I couldn’t tell you for fear of arrest and the majority of the rest for fear of reprisal.

I decided to ask a few others for stories and anecdotes about Nick and I found out that at school, he was an ideal pupil, who excelled in most subjects.……Sorry that should have read: "He was an idle pupil, who was expelled from most subjects"!

Another reminded me that Nick is the biggest joker and trickster we know! Many times have I fallen foul to his pranks. Bangers under pints, caps in the ends of cigarettes or remote control farting machines.

Whether it is magic tricks to strangers in pubs or telling stories to crowds of people beer gardens. Nick always comes up with the funny stuff or the stuff to entertain.

I remember once at about the age of 12-13. Nick, myself and a guy named Matt had just spent the night in Nick’s front room watching MTV ‘til the early hours and sleeping head to toe in the fold out sofa bed. There was nothing saucy going on I hasten to add! On our way home, Nick grabbed the sleeping bag from Matt and with Matt’s permission, unrolled it, and proceeded to put the sleeping bag, upside down over Matt’s head. So his feet were out of the bottom…this was in the middle of main Heavitree!!

Suffice to say, after numerous angry car horn’s, offended pedestrians and a few wrestling moves later. We had laughed so much, Matt actually had a little bit of wee, soaking his trouser leg.

Nick carried on this sort of childish behaviour until…well he hasn’t really stopped yet!

And so in 1995 Nick finally bowed to Sadie’s advances. Not that he had much choice. He would come home from a good Saturday night out and there she would be, sat on the end of his bed waiting for him. And after he had specifically told Danny not to let her in.

Since then they have been parachuting together, Nick has held on for dear life while Sadie flew a plane and no doubt they will have some more adventures in store.

I know Nick must have taken this seriously because just a few months ago I noticed that he had got his ear pierced. So Nick, with his new gold and diamond stud earring was, perhaps even back then preparing for marriage, experiencing pain, hurt and buying jewellery.

And so…one day I get a phone call from the Ginger man himself.

“I’m gonna ask Sadie to marry me, and I need your help”

So one Sunday, I get the call. We have to go down to Exmouth, where Sadie has been taken by the rest of her family, blissfully unaware of proceeding events.

The breeze was gently blowing, at GAIL FORCE 8 and the rain was pouring so hard we had to drive with our heads out the window like Ace Ventura ‘cos the windscreen wipers wouldn’t go fast enough. Nick couldn’t have chosen a better day. It was so windy that the white officer’s uniform that he had hired for the occasion looked as though it was body paint as we stood 45° into the wind. He had also hired a plane with a banner but it was so windy the plane couldn’t take off. After much persuasion he called it off to my relief.

“If you’re gonna do it, do it right” I proclaimed.

And sure enough the next week, Nick hired the bridal suite at the Barcelona Hotel, decked the room out in flowers, adorned his Naval Officer uniform and wandered down to reception with the biggest bouquet in the world (I should know, I was carrying it and I almost fell down the stairs, ‘cos I couldn’t see over the top), and said “Sadie…I may not be an officer but I’ll always be your gentleman…will you marry me?” Best Man Funny Speeches.

And so the rest is history!

I was going to say something about the stag do that we embarked upon back in May. 17 lads in Amsterdam. I wanted to say it was unforgettable, but I was so drunk I can’t remember anything!

So, on a more serious note now, over the years Nick has been extremely generous, trustworthy, funny, helpful, caring and all in all one of the best mates a man could ask for. Not only for me but for many others of you in this room aswell.

And I would just like to say “Thank you, Nick” for bestowing this honour of being best man upon me”.

I know he had a choice of many, of which he managed to whittle down to three! Unfortunately for me, I was the only one who could read and write! So I landed the job. “SORRY” Ben & Shaun.

I feel very honoured to have accepted this duty, but I feel that the word BESTMAN…for me, is probably the wrong description. I think that Nick is the BESTMAN here today…and he’s also married the BEST WOMAN and I’m sure you’ll all agree they make the BEST COUPLE.

I wish you both many, many more happy years together!

So would you all please stand, charge your glasses and toast the happy couple; NICK & SADIE.

Best Man Funny Speeches

Friday, October 07, 2005

Best Man Toast

Weddings are a time for two people to come together in holy matrimony. It is also the time for dear ones to play their role - parents, friends, bridesmaids, the best man, and others. Make a wedding toast to express your hearty congratulations to the people involved. Given below is a top 10 list of wedding toasts.

1) Wedding Toast, Best Man Toast
May we all be invited to tour golden wedding celebrations.

2) Wedding Toast, Best Man Toast, to the Bride and Groom
Congratulations on the termination of your isolation and may I express an appreciation of your determination to end the desperation and frustration which has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make a combination to bring an accumulation to the population.

3) Wedding Toast, Best Man Toast, From the Bride and Groom
May our children be blessed with rich parents!

4) Wedding Toast, Best Man Toast, From the Bride to the Groom or From Groom to Bride
I have known many, Liked not a few, Loved only one I toast to you.

5) Wedding Toast, Best Man Toast, From the Bride's Mother to the Groom
To the man who has conquered the bride's heart, and her mother's.

6) Wedding Toast, Best Man Toast, to the Bridesmaids
I have a dozen healths to drink to these fair ladies.

7) Wedding Toast, Best Man Toast
There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.

8) Wedding Toast, Best Man Toast, to the Bride and Groom
Here's to the groom with bride so fair, And here's to the bride with groom so rare!

9) Wedding Toast, Best Man Toast
Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.

10) Wedding Toast, Best Man Toast, to the Bride and Groom
Seek a happy marriage with wholeness of heart, but do not expect to reach the Promised Land without going through some wilderness together.

Best Man Toasts

Tips for best man toasts: writing a wedding speech or toast.

How to write great best man toasts

Someone once said that being asked to be the best man is a little bit like being asked to kiss the Queen Mother: it's a great honor, but nobody wants to do it! This sentiment is largely derived from the best man duty of having to get up in front of a large crowd and toasting the bride and groom. There's pressure on you to do it right and not mess up their big day, but it's not as hard as it looks. Writing a great toast requires a little creativity, a little patience, some hard work, and some ingenuity. Someone thought enough of you to ask you to be best man in their wedding, so have some faith in yourself and your ability to say the words that will wish them the best.

Before You Begin
Start off by writing down thoughts freely about the bride and groom and your relationship to them.

How do you know them?

Why did they choose you as best man?

How would you describe each of them? What are the first five adjectives that come to mind?

What was the groom like before he met the bride? How has he changed knowing her?

How did they meet? How did the groom tell you about her?

If you are married, you may wish to think about marriage advice you've received or have learned.

Are there any particularly amusing anecdotes that illustrate who the bride and/or groom is?

Read through this gallery of sample classic wedding toasts and highlight any that seem particularly appropriate to you.

Once you've done that, it's time to craft those ideas into a heartfelt and entertaining toast.

Beginning of Best Man Toasts
Start off by introducing yourself, as not everyone in the room will know who you are.

You might say "Excuse me everyone, if I could have your attention for a moment. I'd like to take a few moments to say a few words about our bride and groom. I'm John Doe, Patrick's best man and longtime good friend (or brother, son, etc.)" To get people's attention, you might insert a quick joke here or a quote about marriage. Before you get too far into your speech, you should thank the people hosting, traditionally the parents of the bride. If the bride and groom are paying for the wedding themselves, simply say, "We're all delighted to be here today on this joyous occasion."

Middle of "Best Man Toasts"
This is where the notes you wrote down before will really come in handy. Tell a funny story about the bride and/or groom (note I said "funny" not humiliating!), give your thoughts on love and marriage, tell the story of how they met, or talk about how you've seen them change through their relationship. While you may know the groom better, try to make your toast balanced, speaking about each of them. Try not to talk too long as nobody wants to hear you ramble, but do give some interesting details. At all costs, avoid ex-girlfriend stories and keep it rated PG for kids and grandmothers in the room! Most of all, if you are sincere about what you are saying, and your words come from the heart, it's hard to go wrong.

Closing "Best Man Toasts"
It's often good to wrap up your toast with a wish, traditional toast, or blessing for the bride and groom. Raise your glass with a resounding congratulations, cheers, l'chaim or salud, and don't forget to drink to your own toast!

I suggest writing your toast down on a notecard or two (remember, I said to keep it brief!) and practicing it a few times so that you're not reading straight from the card. You may also wish to run your toast by a trusted friend who can give you some feedback.

Now it's time to relax, enjoy the wedding, and support your friends. A few tips on delivering that toast:

Remember, even though you're nervous, to speak loudly and clearly.Hopefully you'll have a microphone, but even if you do you'll need to make sure to enunciate. Nothing worse than listening to five minutes of mumbling nonsense.

Don't drink too much before you give your speech. A drink or two might help loosen you up, but more than that and you'll just look like a fool.

Don't read straight from the card. These are supposed to be heart-felt words, not a scripted response. It's better to paraphrase what you've written, and get the general sentiment across. Of course, you can have your notes handy, just remember to make eye-contact with the people you are speaking to.

Didn't your mother always tell you to stand up straight? That goes twice when toasting.

If you lose your notes, or just choke up there, there's nothing wrong with a simple "Congratulations, (bride's name and groom's name) I'm looking forward to the day when we're all together again celebrating your 50th wedding anniversary. Cheers!" or a favorite toast of yours.

"Best Man Toasts".

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Best Man Speeches

Good Evening,
I just want to tell Paula how honoured I am today to stand by your side on this special day..
On behalf of the bridesmaids and myself I just want to say how beautiful and radiant your look today, it truly has been a special day for all of us.
Paula and I have been friends for a number of years now. Over the years, she has taught me the valuable lesson that friendship is the most important thing next to family. We have supported each other through good times and bad.
I have many memories of wonderful times spent with Paula, as we all have. And will cherish them forever.
The fondest memory I will now have is watching Paula marry her best friend, the love of her life and companion.
I love you both very much, you are two very dear friends to me. In the past year I have seen you both grow as individuals and flourish as a couple. Separately you both are very special, remarkable people, but together you are complete.
Today we celevrate everything you have found in each other - A best friend - A teacher and a true partner for like.
I would like you all to please raise your glasses and join me in a toast
To love, laughter and happily ever after..

Best Man Speeches

Monday, September 19, 2005

Free Best Man Speech

Free Best Man Speech

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, as most of you have probably guessed
already from the church I am the best man, however for those of you who don’t
know me personally, my name is Kevin and I would like to begin, on behalf of
Susan & Justin, by thanking you all for being here and sharing their special day
with them.

As is customary on these occasions, its time for one or two speeches of thanks
from Bob, Justin and myself. I’m quite sure that all three of us are nervous at
the prospect right now. I personally would like to thank Imodium for all the
help and support they have given me in the build up to this moment!

It gives me great pleasure to call upon the bride’s father to say a few words
and propose a toast of 'health and happiness to the bride and bridegroom’, so
come on and give him a massive round of applause everyone!


Thank you Bob for those kind words….I now call upon Justin to say a few nice
things about his mum and dad and the lovely bridesmaids.


Its turning out to be a day packed full new experiences for me. It’s the first
time I’ve had the honour of being a best man, It’s the first time that Justin
has complimented me in over 30 years, and it’s the first time I’ve got a free
dinner out of him since that kebab he bought me back in 93. So far things have
been going pretty well…until now. Start the car Steve.

Ladies, Gentlemen, boys, girls Justin and Sue,

First of all, let me begin on behalf of the bridesmaids, Michelle, Ellie, Hannah
and Emily, I would like to thank Justin for his kind words, and I have to say
they look absolutely wonderful and have done an excellent job today.

The great thing about being a best man, which incidentally is short for best
Justin can manage, is that you get to paint a picture of the man whom Sue has
just committed the rest of her life to.

A man is best described through his actions and despite having known Justin for
nearly thirty years now I think I could probably describe all of his actions
within the next five minutes.

Not that he is lazy, far from it, rather than be a jack of all trades he prefers
to carefully focus his efforts

When asked once in the pub what where his favourite hobbies and pastimes, after
serious thought and consideration he replied, ‘I quite like sitting’.

So here before us is a man who dedicates his free time to the conservation of
energy and the environment. Although if he was honest he’s not bothered as to
whether the environments green or not, just as long as it’s comfy.

I don’t remember meeting Justin for the first time, he just kind of appeared
many, many years ago before I was old enough to have a memory. However, that may
well be a good thing, because some of those early memories are quiet disturbing.

During the mid to late seventies Justin was quiet convinced that he was 70’s
motorcycle pin up Erik Estrada from Chips.

(At this point I held up a picture of this guy and compared it with a picture of
7 year old Justin to emphasise how dissimilar they looked)

He also thought that Cola Cubes made him bionic! A tip that you might like to
pick up on there Sue!

Its testimony to Sue & Justins relationship that he’s now over Erik, and Justins
smile has now returned following that fateful afternoon back in 1980 when, out
of his mind on a quarter of cola cubes he attempted his first and last ever
non-handed bicycle jump.

I think I can sum up the moment by combining the words, crown jewels and
crossbars. In fact it’s a miracle of medicine that Justin did not just deliver
his speech to you today in the style of Joe Pescuali.

As Justin progressed to becoming a teenager he found that if he took his cola
cubes in liquid form and added a decent shot of Vodka, he became even more
bionic! Of course some of us know different.

Yes we know that it made him talk rubbish like the best of us can, but the
funniest thing was that it made him dance like he was actually trying to take
his trousers off. At least he claims he was dancing. If you can’t get the
picture, you soon will at around 10pm this evening.

He then went on to study for a degree at Huddersfield University. It was here
that he landed quite possibly the finest job a man could ever aspire to. He was
given the responsibility, by the Student Union, of driving the safety bus.

Now for those who don’t know, let me explain what the safety bus is for. It’s
for picking up young drunk 18yr old student girls in the middle of the night and
driving them back to their homes. Fantastic! What more could a man want from

However the responsibility proved a little too distracting for poor Justin, and
in the short time he was in charge of the safety bus, he:

Drove it into a wall, ran over and crushed a child’s bike, pulled one of the
doors off and got an enormously fat girl stuck between the seats!

And to add insult to injury the students started calling his safety bus, the

Still he can proudly say that he has escorted more drunk girls home in a single
night, than the rest of his friends put together have managed in a lifetime!

Moving more up to date, I am proud to say I was there the night that Justin met
Sue. I’ve watched their relationship grow, and can honestly say that they make a
perfect couple.

So it was no surprise, when about 18 months ago during a romantic dinner just
down the road at the Italian Kitchen, Justin bent down to pick up a nice piece
of garlic bread he dropped…Sue jumped to conclusions and…well here we all are

Sue, you’re a wonderful girl, and you look fantastic today. You’re a great girl
who truly deserves a great husband. A husband who will care for you, and look
after you for the rest of your life. Free Best Man Speech

Justin, you’ve done a great job getting her down the aisle before she found one.

It just leaves me now as is customary before the toast to offer the bride and
groom a few words of worldly advice. Being a bachelor myself, this has proved a
bit too difficult for me, so I asked my mum and dad how they managed over 40
years of wedded bliss.

My Mum said: Sue a man is like a tiled floor - lay it right first time and you
can spend years walking all over it!

And from my Dad: Jus the best way to remember your anniversary is to forget just

I apologise if those jokes are a bit old but then so are my parents!

If my throat was dry when I started this speech its even drier now, and I can
think of no better remedy than to drink to the health, wealth and eternal
happiness of the newlyweds. Free Best Man Speech

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Free Best Man Speeches

Free, Sample Speeches, Best Speech

Ladies and
Gentlemen, settle down

I beg you listen to this clown

The best man's role is abundantly clear

To entertain you and fill him with fear

But just
before the fun begins

I ask you, put aside your grins

The true honor of best man demands

That we share some thoughts about their bands

First a
response to Dave's kind words

His compliments about the bride's top birds

Their thanks I give and his words I repeat

Megan & Lola, you do look a treat

Thanks must go to the Moorhill hotel,

Mark and his team have really done well.

They’ve sweated and toiled for all of our sake

Thanks very much guys, we’ll save you some cake!

Now we have
to take the time,

Just for a bit, and stop rhyme

On behalf of those we hold dear

Who sent a card as they can’t be here.

<Pause for cards etc…>

And let me share some thoughts of my life

At least the bits I've spent with my wife!

Marriage is the best thing that I've ever done

No need to think, it's the best - bar none

A friend by
your side, all of the time

Scuba buddy, lover, partner in crime

It's all about sharing, understanding your rants

Not just cooking and cleaning and washing your pants

A life-long
decision you'll never regret

A journey together you'll never forget

Someone to lean on when down on your luck

A Christmas cuddle or a New Year’s…. Resolution

Forgive me now; I'm trying to hard

I'm sounding like a greetings card

You've come to hear of this young man’s sins

Of drinking, debauchery and sleeping in bins

And whilst
I'll try not to let you down

Some thoughts for Mel, in her wedding gown

It's clear to us all, that Dave's got a steal

But did our bride get as good of a deal?

Let's break
it down, birth 'til today

See how those years made this man on display

Sprog on the Tyne back in 77

The year that Elvis went up to heaven

Little is known of his formative years

Newcastle Brown used to quieten his tears?

And what about Dave when he was at school?

A ‘straight A’ student, this kid was no fool!

On in to
his teens and we start to see

The first indications of the man that he'll be

Star trek and Star Wars, a sci-fi shrine

To his fantasy girlfriend, Seven of Nine!

At the age
of 18 our young man decides

To set the bright lights of Newcastle aside

So into his car and down the M1

To Loughborough Uni for learning and fun

The fancy dress parties are well worth a mention

His wonderful baby spice nappy invention

A brilliant Barney, dressed as the Flintstones

He may look like Phil Collins but he can dance like Tom Jones

At uni he
honed his culinary skills

Learning the art of food with no frills

A penchant for steak that was burnt more than most

The same for sausages, chicken and toast.

And then
there's fried breakfast cooked after the pub

The chance for some late night "beer munchies" grub

If six inches of oil was not enough

Bacon, eggs and shell is really quite rough

And now we can see the pattern emerge

The effect of that late night alcohol splurge

Dave's biggest problem, it's not lack of hairs

It's falling asleep at the foot of the stairs

Not just
once or twice but time and again

A few beers alone just cannot explain

Whilst others make it to the top of the house

He's curled on the floor, fast asleep, like a mouse

Now picture
this scene, again late one night

The boys in the house were pretending to fight

Behind the sliding door in the downstairs loo

Our bride groom David we readily threw

Now you could tell, Dave did not like it

The bathroom door he started to hit

And forgetting to slide he started to shove

With small bits of wall falling down from above

coming next, did not take long at all

The slidy bit started to come out of the wall

And into the kitchen and on to the floor

Flew Dave, free at last, but still holding the door

after Uni, moving to Brum

A software guru our man had become

He started to settle and met up with Mel

So I think you can say, all’s ended up well

In summary Mel, you've not done to bad

I really can't say enough good 'bout the lad

He'll do anything for you - a really true friend

An absolute hero whom you’ll always depend

So that is
that, my time is done

Thank you all for sharing in this fun

My last duty and honor as this part's host

Is to ask you to stand, as we all share a toast

To joy and
laughter, love and life

My mate Dave and his beautiful wife

Friends and family all round this room

Raise your glasses and toast, the Bride and Groom!

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Best Man Speech

Well Justin, I hope you made the most of your speech.. now you're a married
man that'll be the last time you get to speak for 3 minutes without being

Good afternoon Boys and Girls. For those of you that don't know me, my name's
Carl, and I've had the privilege of being Justin's best man. I hope you've all
enjoyed the day so for, and I think you'll all agree.. at the church today the
bride looked absolutely stunning!

( pause for applause )

The groom looked absolutely stunned.

You can't deny it's been an emotional day though.. even the cake's in tiers!

Firstly, on behalf of the bridesmaids, I'd like to thank Justin for his kind
words- they were very much appreciated. They also said, Justin, that you look
very different sober!

Now this is only going to be a short speech because of my throat.. If I go on
too long Naranda's threatened to cut it! Taken from Best Man Speech.

You know, it's been said that being asked to be best man is like being asked to
make love to Camilla Parker Bowles.. It's a great honour but you don't really
want to do it!

But here I am, and I think you'll agree that my first job, of getting this man
to the church, on time and sober, was a complete success! Now it's time for my
second job, the speech, and this is the bit I've REALLY been looking forward

Well, what can I tell you about the groom? I've know him for about 10 years,





Sorry, wrong wedding.

Justin was born on June 26th 1976. Now I don't know whether this is a
coincidence or not, but 2 weeks after he was born Family Planning was made
available free on the NHS!!

Looking at him now you may not believe this, but Justin was not a pretty baby..
In fact, he was the only baby in Leicester to have shutters on his pram!

You know, Sue didn't get morning sickness until AFTER he was born!

He was also a slow starter. At Playschool Justin was different from all the
other 5 year olds.. He was 11!

By the time he was 14, his parents were getting very concerned about his
performance at school - He wasn't just falling behind, he was getting lapped!

Friends used to ask Sue and Bob what they thought Justin would be when he left
school..The usual reply was " Oh, about 35 "!

But Justin did eventually leave school, to the great sadness of his teachers,
and fulfilled his lifetime ambition of Joining the Navy - A job which not only
gives him the chance to see lots of different countries, but also to get blind
drunk in them! Excerpts from Best Man Speech.

Yes, if you didn't know it already - Justin likes the odd shandy or 2!

In fact, and most of you probably don't know this, but Justin is actually a
talented amateur magician! He can be walking down a street and just turn into a

He has made an honest attempt to cut back on his drinking to get into shape for
today though, and personally I think he's succeeded!..Well round is a shape
isn't it?!

However, it was one night when Justin was out drinking with his friends that he
met the love of his life.. Naranda.

You know, Naranda tells me the first time she set eyes on Justin, she thought he
was handsome from afar.. Now she just thinks he's far from handsome!

But nevertheless, she fell for his boyish charms, and actually discovered that
they share the same sense of humour!..

..Naranda, you have to share it, Justin hasn't got one of his own!

In all seriousness though Justin, you've been a brilliant friend to me over the
years. It's been an honour to be your best man today, and with all my heart I
hope you two have a long and happy marriage!

You're a lucky man. Naranda's a beautiful girl with a heart of gold, and she
deserves a good husband.. Thank God you married her before she found one!

Now I'm not married myself, but I'm sure the right girl for me is just round the
corner.. Unless the police have moved her on since last night!

But even so, just before I make the Toast, I do have a few words of wisdom for
the happy couple:-

NARANDA - Treat Justin like a dog! 3 meals a day, plenty of affection.. and make
sure you send him into the garden for a wee before bedtime! ( NB. This was
mentioned due to the fact he wet himself on his stag night! )

JUSTIN:- Never get complacent. Look out for those tell-tale signs that there may
be something wrong in your relationship.. You know, like the milkman wearing
your socks!

Also remember those 3 little words that are the key to a long and happy
marriage... 'You're right love'!

Now, as a man that will drink to absolutely anything, it gives me immense
pleasure to invite you all to be upstanding, raise you glasses and join me in a
toast to Naranda and Justin, because I think they were made for each other.


May your love be modern enough to survive the times, but old fashioned enough to
last forever.

I'm sure you're going to be happy together, and I speak for everybody here when
I say I wish you both the very very best for your future life together.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the new Mr and Mrs A*****, Justin and Naranda!

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